Embracing Depression as a Choice

 

lulin
The comet, Lulin.

 

I offend when I suggest that depression is a chosen state of mind, even if I allow that it is a subconscious choice.

I offend when I suggest that depression is not generally clinical, or that the DSM guiding treatment by physicians contains some certain diagnostics that are biased and based on arbitrarily contrived information that is applied according to often loose and ill-fitting criteria to very specific individuals.

Depression is painful. It can be debilitating. But, life within arbitrary and often patriarchal constructs (job schedules, school, binding institutions, prisons of debt, dysfunctional relationships and families, etc.) encourages us to deny or avoid the reality of choice.

These arbitrary constructs are not congruent with natural rhythms and attunement (harmonious vibrational frequencies). Unhappiness becomes a symptom of the ill effects of these constructs that overrides the psyche.

I offend when I suggest that depression, in general cases, reflects avoidance of the messages wired into our inner beings – the voices within that are full of knowing and urge us to process pain and heal from our childhoods, which were lacking in connection, or worse. Our bodies respond as well, urging us to reconcile our inner being.

We will defend our depression vehemently, because to let it go and embrace fully the healing process is too painful to endure.

Depression becomes a part of our identity, and to shed the ego requires acceptance of what is unknown. To know thyself…

“I have realized; it is during the times I am far outside my element that I experience myself the most. That I see and feel who I really am, the most! I think that’s what a comet is like, you see, a comet is born in the outer realms of the universe! But it’s only when it ventures too close to our sun or to other stars that it releases the blazing “tail” behind it and shoots brazen through the heavens! And meteors become sucked into our atmosphere before they burst like firecrackers and realize that they’re shooting stars! That’s why I enjoy taking myself out of my own element, my own comfort zone, and hurling myself out into the unknown. Because it’s during those scary moments, those unsure steps taken, that I am able to see that I’m like a comet hitting a new atmosphere: suddenly I illuminate magnificently and fire dusts begin to fall off of me! I discover a smile I didn’t know I had, I uncover a feeling that I didn’t know existed in me… I see myself. I’m a shooting star. A meteor shower. But I’m not going to die out. I guess I’m more like a comet then. I’m just going to keep on coming back.” ~ C. JoyBell C.

I’m not talking about the pain from loss. Loss has its own rabbit hole of healing, and the loss of a child is perhaps the most egregious of all painful processes. I’m not qualified (directly experienced) to touch that pain and hope that I never am! I already know too many beautiful, meaningful humans who have such first-hand experience. Their loss defies any logical pathway for processing such immense pain. There is absolutely no measure that can accommodate their healing, which is as individual as the children lost to them.

A Facebook friend and artist shared quoted text originating from Kazimierz Dąbrowski (Positive Disintegration) that motivated me to address this topic. Here are excerpts from the larger text:

“Suffering, aloneness, self-doubt, sadness, inner conflict; these are our feelings that we have not learned to live with, that we have failed to appreciate, that we reject as destructive and completely negative, but in fact they are symptoms of an expanding consciousness.” 

“Psychoneurosis is not an illness.”

“Without intense and painful introspection and reflection, development is unlikely. Psychoneurotic symptoms should be embraced and transformed into anxieties about human problems of an ever higher order. If psychoneuroses continue to be classified as mental illness, then perhaps it is a sickness better than health.”

“Real therapy is autopsychotherapy. It is the self being aware of the self through a long inner investigation, a mapping of the inner environment. There are no techniques to eliminate symptoms because the symptoms constitute the very psychic richness from which grow an increasing awareness of body, mind, humanity and cosmos.”

Initially, people who are acting on low impulses or who are simply robotically emulating society have little self conflict. Most conflicts are external. During development, the clash between one’s actual behavior and environment and one’s imagined ideals creates a great deal of internal conflict. This conflict literally motivates the individual to resolve the situation, ideally by inhibiting those aspects he or she considers lower and by accentuating those aspects he or she considers higher. At the highest levels, there is a new harmony of thought, emotion and action that eliminates internal conflict. The individual is behaving in accord with their own personality ideal and consciously derived value structure and therefore feels no internal conflict. Often a person’s external focus shifts to ‘making the world a better place’.”

I had never heard of Dąbrowski’s work prior to my friend’s Facebook post. The perspective aligns to the work of Gabor Mate’, the physician who embraces that compassion and acceptance are the tools for treating addiction. Mate’s work evidences that disconnection in the form of childhood trauma is the source for addiction (the specific indulgences are merely the symptoms, not the source) and must be healed through compassionate, not punitive measures.

The dialogue is important as much of our society is mired within the scope of denial, avoidance, cognitive dissonance, and illnesses as symptoms of a greater need to shift paradigms of personal development.

Typically, generational dysfunction is denied and passed down, and entire lives are lived within the doped, arbitrary constructs that do nothing for human evolution. Literal lives are wasted because individuals span birth to death without ever awakening to higher truths that derive from within. They embrace their enslavement to the arbitrary nature of patriarchy and its inherent hierarchies. They believe what they are told, living within limiting constructs, never “seeing” in the higher sense.

Why are we here if not to evolve into higher understanding and connection? While spirituality can be achieved within religious framework, if we buy into answers fed to us as dogmatic belief, we may never wake up to our full potential as creators. We must leave legacies of understanding, not contribute to the dysfunction through destructive patterns of limiting belief.

We are connected to a fabric that flows according to the vibrational physics of quantum theory and we inform this flow and the resultant reality that we behold.

We must change how we see and value personhood. It must start with changing the paradigm to one of compassion. It must start by treating infancy and childhood as sacred passages in which children are trusted with choice, equality, and autonomy. It starts with seeing children as humans not to be shaped, but to be nurtured according to who they choose to be, without projected expectations from adults. It starts with giving children the same respect and rights afforded adults. Whole life evolution without coercion of any kind must begin at birth for humanity to transcend beyond society’s symptomatic illnesses.

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