A mother feels between her breaths where time stops between heart beats and memory works like muscle Here at the edge of intention where childhood ends and memory of the final nursing is lost though she swore she’d never forget He artfully negotiates the room like John Wick She amuses herself with thoughts of what … Continue reading Valiant Child
When I stepped off, I stepped off into poverty. It was a long drop and happened overnight, literally as a factor of retribution for enacting a protection order. The authenticity I promoted for my child became a paradigm that I must own and not be ashamed of, and wearing the veil has become too uncomfortable to not speak my truth.
The programming is difficult to rewire. The support of community exists only in pockets when you go against the grain. I am grateful especially for the single mothers who identify with what I'm saying. Our spines are interlaced as we hold the space for each other and understand the love our children need, collectively... I dreamed this process would be perfect. While it has been profound, and my child demonstrates amazing leaps in a single generation away from the very guilt and shame embedded in my DNA, he still has fear from the trauma of divorce and all that led to it and all he faces moving forward.
My body has not yet mastered how to process this knowledge without the constant, high levels of cortisol pulsating throughout my cells, electrifying the crises tapes in my subconscious programming.
In order to ebb and flow in life with continuous purpose and positive contribution, we must be given the chance to become ourselves from within the very origins of our birth so that we do not spend three to four decades back peddling against our passions and desires, trying to heal from our childhoods.
I provided my son with mindful, responsive parenting as an infant and toddler, but the fine lines started to appear in early childhood when he was decided in what he wanted - whether it was the food he preferred or the toys and shows that interested him. I could tell because he displayed feelings of frustration if I didn't let him choose, if I didn't truly see and listen.
It is the conversation many home schoolers dread. What if the school board looks you up and wants to investigate what your day truly looks like? What if they needle your child?
Are you one of those people who keeps asserting that you "were spanked and turned out OK"? Do you feel that no harm was done to the relationships you have with your children, or that you had no relationship issues with your own parents after experiencing such "discipline"? Why is that the people who make … Continue reading Generational Pain: “I was spanked and turned out OK”
(Originally written 11-2-2009, about two years after my son's birth) The womb, the egg, intuition, and the mystery of the female experience. These are things that remind me of connectivity to earth, to time, and a sanguine color. I have this pair of socks that I cannot part with. They are ankle socks - white … Continue reading Echoes of the Womb
(This article also appears in Mother Support News for the World Association of Breastfeeding Action, Vol. 14.) Strangers can have immense capacity to reassure a mother that she is doing the right thing, even when her own relatives fail to provide such support. Not everyone breast feeds long-term or until a child self-weans, but for those … Continue reading The Profound Nature of the Breastfeeding Dyad