A Pre-emptive Strike of Love that Guided Me Through the Hardest Times

When I stepped off, I stepped off into poverty. It was a long drop and happened overnight, literally as a factor of retribution for enacting a protection order. The authenticity I promoted for my child became a paradigm that I must own and not be ashamed of, and wearing the veil has become too uncomfortable to not speak my truth.

Convergent Paradigms

This statement by Georgio is loaded in every aspect, like a pregnant spider, inadvertently waiting for someone to come along and smash it, with the little spiders running all over in every direction at once. I am really interested to see if anyone can objectively walk this statement back, and preferably someone who does not inherently exhibit participation in the divisive narrative that philosophically wrought the incident. Can any of us be this someone? 

Let Go to Level Up

Taking responsibility for the common denominator means self-regulating back to center when we sail too far off to one side. Individuals who have survived and even thrived outside of the myriad forms of abuse and trauma learn that it doesn't matter what you believe. It only matters where you show up and what you do when you get there. Courage comes from traversing the parts of your soul you can't discern and the parts of the tunnel you can't see through. Maybe we should start sharing our judgements as the fears they really are. But it has less to do with babies being born or bootstraps being pulled up. It has little to do with rainbow flags. Netflix and Amazon already evidenced in chummy, comic exchange that society is indeed in favor of the individual. Society has already embraced 1984, but the Apple commercial makes it seem more bent towards discovery and creation. We might all end up in one big space-cruise-ship (like the one in The Fifth Element). It has less to do with universal income or health care or guns. It isn't about coal or renewable energy or climate. It isn't based on taxes or benefits. It isn't about religious belief. It isn't about white-haired old men. None of us should be surprised by our societal makeup. Even Mulder and Scully predicted this pandemic (X Files, Season 11, Episode 5). This time, it comes down to unity. My motivation comes from seeing humans self-illuminate as we practice social isolation and conduct grids in support of one another across the entire world. We are leveling up as a species. So, let us honor our differences with respect for the higher process as we continue tunneling through the Twilight Zone of 2020.

Faeries and Flowers

I’m pleased to see my nurse has on pretty purple scrubs with flowers in the front. I have worn bright red. A red button front silky shirt and my favorite pair of red earrings. The earrings are like bell-shaped flowers with little black beads hanging from the center. I think of them as faerie flowers and, in fact, I purchased them from a website dedicated to faeries. They make me smile. I need them today.

Trauma and the Struggle to Realize Authentic Intentions

The programming is difficult to rewire. The support of community exists only in pockets when you go against the grain. I am grateful especially for the single mothers who identify with what I'm saying. Our spines are interlaced as we hold the space for each other and understand the love our children need, collectively... I dreamed this process would be perfect. While it has been profound, and my child demonstrates amazing leaps in a single generation away from the very guilt and shame embedded in my DNA, he still has fear from the trauma of divorce and all that led to it and all he faces moving forward.