We are a social system, and we are individual humans leveling up. None of us wants to be compromised in any way, but if we are (for any reason), let us hope it is for the sake of a greater good.
The programming is difficult to rewire. The support of community exists only in pockets when you go against the grain. I am grateful especially for the single mothers who identify with what I'm saying. Our spines are interlaced as we hold the space for each other and understand the love our children need, collectively... I dreamed this process would be perfect. While it has been profound, and my child demonstrates amazing leaps in a single generation away from the very guilt and shame embedded in my DNA, he still has fear from the trauma of divorce and all that led to it and all he faces moving forward.
I pause to give guilt good circumspect, tilt my head for a thorough examination of the path I've just traversed and conclude: There is no space for guilt in gratitude.
Their minds are already way beyond the broken record admonishment of adults. Sometimes, they are on while admitting they had to sneak due to being grounded. I chuckle at their inventiveness. Sean has never been grounded. It makes absolutely no sense to me because punishment does not reinforce intrinsic values. I'd want these kids in charge during the Zombie Apocalypse.
My body has not yet mastered how to process this knowledge without the constant, high levels of cortisol pulsating throughout my cells, electrifying the crises tapes in my subconscious programming.
They fight injustice from within, exploding healing hues of themselves in the face of inequality, oppression, or other dark energies... If we fail to look, then we simply churn into the mishmash, to be forgotten, not making a difference until our descendants awaken and forgive our ancestral injuries.
Living in the now in this way hurts no one. It is useful because it helps them as children (for such a short time!!) to do what they want to do, which is to play and interact over a game... to have fun. Childhood is for having fun. For playing. For learning to navigate personal autonomy and sovereignty. For practicing at real life.
In order to ebb and flow in life with continuous purpose and positive contribution, we must be given the chance to become ourselves from within the very origins of our birth so that we do not spend three to four decades back peddling against our passions and desires, trying to heal from our childhoods.
I provided my son with mindful, responsive parenting as an infant and toddler, but the fine lines started to appear in early childhood when he was decided in what he wanted - whether it was the food he preferred or the toys and shows that interested him. I could tell because he displayed feelings of frustration if I didn't let him choose, if I didn't truly see and listen.
If our society depends on teachers to save children from falling through the very cracks created by the institution caring for them for the majority of their childhoods, it is far beyond time to awaken as a society to the hard truths.